Monsoon Song

The whole atmosphere is filled with the wild croaking of toads in the pond by the side of my window. For days in this hot summer of 2011 , I fall asleep with the chorus of toads in the pond and the crickets in the trees around. The garden is greener than ever, with flowers of yellow, red and pink all around. The occasional rain that pours gives more greenary to the leaves in the garden in front. It is as if the whole nature is preparing for something, like they prepare a bride for the marriage. I am sitting silently by my window , watching the darkness outside and listening to the chorus , trying to figure out a meaning out of the chorus…but it is just a music, with no meaning…but it has a symphony and at times everything, the toads,  becomes silent for a while, then this silence is so penetrating. I sit for meditation again. Within few minutes , as I focus from the nares to my navel, I start feeling my body losing its boundaries and expanding above and sideways, it always happens so and I was not surprised …what surprised me after a while of watching inside was that I could no longer hear the outside croaking of toads and singing of crickets. Rather, I felt I was in a vaccuum and the sounds were there far away and I had a space of no sound between me and the outside chorus going on. Then something beautiful happened. Out of nowhere, I started to hear a ring in my both ears, the ringing was like the sound made by tibetan bowls..i wanted it to last for a while so that I can find their source but the harder I tried , the softer they became and finally faded and suddenly the outside sounds were all around me again. It was a strange evening, more so because I had to go through a very traumatic emotional event that morning ….but it seems the depth in sadness is more deeper than that of happiness…that day I felt like I swam to the depths of myself which I had never swam before…