Saturday, July 12, 2014

Memoirs of Osho Sadhana: Osho's beautiful gift to me.


It was exactly seven years ago, during the full moon night of Guru purnima, I had my first meeting with Swami Anand Arun. I was taking a jump into Sannyas after a seven-day meditation retreat in Osho tapoban ashram. Although i had seen him for a week already, a white-bearded man who cracked jokes, was light hearted, and always talked about Osho, about Poona 1 days, on the day of Sannyas exactly 7 yrs ago today, he was there, I was there sitting in front, crying and laughing at the same time and suddenly Osho started echoing from everywhere, the big buddha hall full of his sound, my heart was overwhelmed with an urge to explode like a river before a dam, and i lost control of myself.....since then I have a heart to heart connection with Sw. Arun. And after this meeting during Sannyas, we met many times, mostly when he became ill with a flu or with a gout attack. Again the circumstances would be very mysterious, for days i would miss him at home and work and then a call would come, either from Swami Tanmaya or from Radhika Ma his caretaker at Tapoban or from Arhat Swami that he is sick and wants to see me urgently. I would be amazed, I would pack my bags with joy, say goodbye to my mom at home, and head to Tapoban. On those initial days after my first seven-days Osho retreat, my practice of meditation at home was intense, and I had a lot of questions but as soon as I would see him, all questions would disappear, a feeling of joy and silence would pervade within, and i would feel I am inside a large cocoon within the pulsating energy-field of Tapoban where everything is here and now and full of stillness.

When we met, swamiji (Swami Arun) would sometimes ask what my plans were for future, after
finishing my medical school. And I would always ask him back what is the best thing to do. In fact, there were three different occasions when I had three different answers. Once he asked me not to go abroad, particularly United States as he said I would have a lot of pain in life doing so, in a different occasion he told me I needed to help spread Bhagwan (Osho) in America and again in a different day he said I would be the happiest staying in Nepal and pursuing M.D. in medicine there.

After completing my two-step exam in Nepal to get into MD training in internal medicine in U.S. in March of 2010, I arrived in New York.


Before going I had extensively googled Osho centers in New York and was happy to find Osho Sadhana center. It was early spring and Bridgeport was beautiful, especially along the University lane by the seaside park of the university where my brother was studying engineering. But still my heart was longing for the buddhafield, I was feeling like a fish out of the ocean, missing meditation and Satsang with my fellow meditators. I hung a big poster of Osho and swamiji  that I brought from Tapoban and started Dynamic in my brother's little rented apartment room in Bridgeport. I constantly communicated with Swami Parimal and Narinder whose contacts were in Osho Sadhana website. My request was to let me stay in the center and meditate, and i would pay money for food or generate money from spreading meditation. But I was not getting any luck, and this was making me sad.

In the Summer of 2010,  Swamiji came to New York for his meditation retreat. We didn’t have a huge group of Osho lovers to pick him up from the airport as we have in Nepal, there were just the two of us - Sw. Narinder and me. But seeing Swamiji, my heart overflooded with joy. While we were returning from airport to the Sadhana center where Swamiji was to stay for the retreat, something mysterious happened which I will never forget in my life. Swamiji ordered Narinder that from now on I was to stay at the center, help the center conduct meditations, and I was not to be asked any money, I would pay back after starting to earn. I was amazed, my heartfelt gratitude to Swamiji, he didn’t even ask - he ordered....and when I look back now was a happening which would change the face of Osho Sadhana center in New york forever. In days to come, I put all my energy in promoting and spreading Osho meditations through daily meditations, and website.

Mysteriously people started calling, coming for meditations, and my days started to pass as the most wonderful days of my life. Staying in the basement meditation hall and with daily dynamic meditations and evening whiterobe satsang celebrations I had many mystical experiences and connection with my Master, many times he would be there sitting silently inside the hall and at times would join my dance. In days to come, the meditation hall became part of me, i would at times go to the city, usually to teach dynamic meditation to Yoga group or to meet friends, and I would feel the energy of the meditation hall calling me constantly to come back a.s.a.p.

As Swamiji had predicted in Nepal, apart from the happy days in Sadhana, I had to go through a major
painful emotional experience of heartbreak in my life. The happy and loving moments of the relationship, the mediations we did together, our sharing and silences all were part of the space within the meditation hall and were thus connected very deeply inside me. I had to go to Nepal after completing all my medical residency application exams. In Nepal I received the good news that I have been accepted for MD training in Danbury Hospital in Connecticut - a little more than an hour from Sadhana center. Out of so many hospitals I had interviewed I could have been anywhere from Tennessee to Boston, and I felt that Master was playing his game to help me be near the center.

When I returned to New York from Nepal, i was surprised to see that the room partition had been removed and the hall renovated - we had a big hall now. The next three years I continued to help with Osho Sadhana center meeting with friends on Saturdays to conduct meditations. It has been a great learning experience.


Throughout the course of the last 4 years I met many friends, Osho lovers, some of them remained and became part of an everlasting bond of friendship, and some vanished into the busy ambitious life of NY city. After finishing MD residency training in 2014 I accepted a temporary job in Santa Rosa, California. This would mean I would be finally leaving the happy Sadhana center memories behind, the wild energetic kirtan dancing, my extremely weird camps with Mandala, dynamic, chakra breathing in a row, our evening satsang celebrations, and most of all our post-lunch visits to the river side park next to the center...nothing gives me the sense of joy and satisfaction within than explaining Osho meditations to new participants and lead a whole day camp; sharing my master, his words and his message for me was the most beautiful experience which i will miss the most after I leave Sadhana center. I will also miss love of Ma Poonam and Sw. Narinder, who were not only my friends but took care of me like my parents, their love and compassion has nurtured Osho Sadhana, and I have always felt their absence when I had to travel away from the center. But I have to travel, and keep walking, keep spreading my master Osho’s message. I am reminded of Zen Master Basho's haiku, a very beautiful song, it says
“Come, butterfly
It's late-
We've miles to go together.” So I fly with my butterfly, visiting beautiful Osho flowers, and spreading Osho's fragrance...